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I'm only going to concentrate on things that you can improve on rather than what I like due to your request in your thread in the forum.
First off, the thing that really grabs my attention: the colouring. You've done the colouring in different directions and put a different amount of pressure on the colouring pencils which makes it look very messy and rushed.
You also might want to try bolder colours instead of lighter ones. That way the white space will stand out a bit more. Take your time and think about how you're going to do things and what effect will it make.
The next thing is that I've noticed you don't really play around with outlines. You've mostly done your drawings it in pencil which doesn't work in this case because it is lighter than the rest of the picture, making it hard for people to really see what they're looking at. Have a go at using different types of pencils, (B's and H's) pens (fineliner, ball point pen, even felt tips) to add more detail into it. Anime type pictures usually outline the details so that nothing is missed. For example, instead of outlining the hair and face with colouring pencils, try and do it with an actual pen or a B type pencil. You'll be amazed with the difference.
The above also applies to the lettering. If you go over the lettering with pen then you'll find that the words will pop out as the lines would be thicker and stronger.
First off, the thing that really grabs my attention: the colouring. You've done the colouring in different directions and put a different amount of pressure on the colouring pencils which makes it look very messy and rushed.
You also might want to try bolder colours instead of lighter ones. That way the white space will stand out a bit more. Take your time and think about how you're going to do things and what effect will it make.
The next thing is that I've noticed you don't really play around with outlines. You've mostly done your drawings it in pencil which doesn't work in this case because it is lighter than the rest of the picture, making it hard for people to really see what they're looking at. Have a go at using different types of pencils, (B's and H's) pens (fineliner, ball point pen, even felt tips) to add more detail into it. Anime type pictures usually outline the details so that nothing is missed. For example, instead of outlining the hair and face with colouring pencils, try and do it with an actual pen or a B type pencil. You'll be amazed with the difference.
The above also applies to the lettering. If you go over the lettering with pen then you'll find that the words will pop out as the lines would be thicker and stronger.